Managed to sleep a few hours last nite and woke up feeling surprisingly better. Still that feeling of despair gnawing away at me but it seems to have been calmed a bit overnite. While standing on the balcony this morning with my morning smoke and coffee and looking over the city of Cape Town I had a good hour to just be in the cool morning breeze, let it flow over me and start clearing my head out.
I began by thinking back, from the start of our relationship, is there anything I could have changed, was there something I should have done, perhaps done better or not done at all. And I came to the realisation that I would not change a thing. Its moments in life like this that define us. They make us take a good look at ourselves. I would honestly do it all over again without making one change. No matter what happens I will stay true to myself.
Everyday is a challenge, a fresh start. Yesterday, although full of wonderous memories and laughs, is all but gone. Tomorrow is something I can never know. But Today……. I can live today to the best of my ability. I can be the man you have shown me I am capable of being. You have woken up inside me the potential to do anything, to be anything I want and I am not afraid.
I Miss You